Archive for October, 2009

Here Be Dragons

So, I finally got around to watching Dragon Wars, a movie about some dragon snake wreaking havoc. Now, I do love a good monster movie like anyone else. Remember those Godzilla movies involving psychic kids or magic mini fairy twins Mothra priestresses? Yeah, those parts sucked. It doesn’t really help that Dragon Wars ups the magic mumbojumo quota big time, but really tries to take itself somewhat seriously. In order to share my thoughts on the movie, I proudly provide 10 quick cut-to-the-chase reviews:

  • Dragon Wars: Michael Bay, is that you?
  • Dragon Wars: Where were you when I was 8 years old?
  • Dragon Wars: The kind of movie Brett Ratner could have elevated from ’embarrassing’ to ‘bad’.
  • Dragon Wars: Just skip to the L.A. battle scene, watch it, quickly eject the DVD again. Quickly.
  • Dragon Wars: Now with almost two minutes of actual dragon.
  • Dragon Wars: What the fuck?
  • Dragon Wars: Seriously, what the fuck?
  • Dragon Wars: Where all the dialogue that didn’t make it into third-rate soap operas ended up.
  • Dragon Wars: What an amazing thrill ride!
  • Dragon Wars: Makes you root for ‘evil’ because pretty much all protagonists match with Dark Helmet’s characterization of ‘good’.

Nevertheless, I’m actually looking forward to watching it again. With Rifftrax. (Make sure to watch the sample.)

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